Trends That Confuse Me (#Baffled)
Every day, I am faced with further and further proof that I am behind on the times. I have by no means ever been “hip” or “with it” – and my use of those terms is evidence enough – but the list of things I just don’t get is growing exponentially. Below, a list of recent fashion and cultural trends that baffle me:
Sneaker-wedges: I love running shoes – for occasional exercise, but more often for running errands or on Sunday mornings when my feet are aching from last night’s high heels. I feel justified slumming it in sweatpants and a ponytail when I’m rocking my Nikes – sure, I know there’s no way I’ll make it off my couch, let alone to the gym, but the rest of the world doesn’t know that. So why on earth would anyone take away the best things about sneakers – they’re flat, comfortable, and the least likely footwear to cause spontaneous face-planting – and add in wobbly height? I first saw this trend last spring and hoped it would be short-lived, but alas, it seems these paradoxes of aesthetics and practicality are here to stay. Are they cute? I have no idea.
Hashtags – Ok, ok, I’m wayyyyy behind the times on this one. I have been explained this concept enough to recite the basic principle – it marks a common keyword or concept on twitter to allow users to fiter by topic – and I’ll admit I’ve even tried to work the term into conversation, ironically of course. But really, what is the point? How is saying, “hashtag TGIF” better than just “TGIF”? (Note: if you’re saying TGIF, it’s already too late. You’ve turned into your sixth grade gym teacher or Aunt Mabel) How do the two extra syllables add anything but a slightly silly internet reference? Does a number sign really make what you’re saying more culturally relevant? #no.
Cutouts – At first, I was all about this. Flowy dresses with an exposed back? Short sleeved-top with peek-a-boo shoulders? Count me in – I’m all about anything that makes the mumu-like garments I favor a bit more current. But the cutouts started migrating – down to the lower back, wrapping around the torso, exposing hips and midriffs and upper butt. I think I’m not alone when I say that I am not a huge fan of my waist/side/love-handle region. I’m actually a pretty big fan of clothes that COVER MY BODY – because that’s what clothes are for. So why would I want a dress that not only doesn’t disguise this area but also actually seeks to draw attention to it? I get that there are a select few ladies with bodies that can withstand and even thrive under such conditions. These are the same 4% of the population who could wear a burlap sack and knee socks and look waiflike and lovely. For the rest of the world, I just don’t comprehend.
“Aggressive” – this one might be a little less universal and a little more restricted to my life on a college campus, but this word has become ubiquitous in the past few months. While I’m all for vocabulary expansion, I’m concerned that this one has gotten a little too big and its use is overriding its definition. Just because you like a word does not mean it should be used in every other sentence. I feel like Regina George telling Gretchen to stop trying to make “fetch” happen – except it actually happened, much to the dismay of myself (and English teachers everywhere.) Things that actually are aggressive: cutting in line a Starbucks, yelling for no reason, trying to start a war, wearing too much perfume. Things that have no relation to “militant, bellicose, competitive or forceful” (thanks, Webster): wearing bright pants, dyeing one’s hair, drinking coffee after four pm, large muffins. Please find a new word.
Forgive my #rant, I got a bit aggressive. I’m going to go listen to Gangnam Style and get some Korean BBQ from a food truck – two trends that I #get.
Image from http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MF0GBjs3Epk/T9ucmBx7s-I/AAAAAAAAFSA/wdTYZUGl3BA/s640/Sneaker+Wedges.jpg