Surprise! I’m Unlikeable!

Just a little newsflash for anyone willing to listen– not everyone in this world is going to like you. Alright, so maybe that newsflash was aimed directly at yours truly, but broadcasting it out there like some public service announcement sure did make me feel a little bit better about the truth behind the wake up call. I mean, I really used to think I was a pretty likeable girl. I’m loaded with southern hospitality and I like to think my quirkiness is my version of charm. I want to be your friend. And yours. And yours. And yours. Yes, I’m talking to you.

So what’s wrong with wanting everyone to like me, wanting to be everyone’s friend while holding hands and singing John Lennon inspired campfire songs together?

I suppose nothing. Except the part where I stand back and perform a little self-analysis that tells me I am sort of a little windstorm full of mind-numbing energy. I sing a song that never ends about life and change and direction and goals and politics. My bright ideas bounce off my own skull like bouncy balls let loose in a gymnasium. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that bouncy balls pinging through a gym are not meant for everyone. Some people don’t necessarily appreciate windstorms and the dust trail they leave behind. Politics and all this talk of what I think matters might nauseate some people.

There you have it. I am unlikeable. While I’m still absorbing the sting of that admission, I keep asking myself what difference does it make?

We’re all unlikeable. There are parts of our kaleidoscope of traits that just aren’t going to blend with someone else’s very well. Maybe we don’t make sense to some people. Maybe what we enjoy is what another person loathes. Maybe, in their eyes, we’re plain crazy. And maybe they’re right.

If I’m forced to be honest here, I’ve met people I don’t like in this world. They weren’t terrible and probably didn’t do anything to me directly, but something about their world didn’t align with mine. So if I can realize other people’s unlikeability, why can’t I accept my own?

I mean think about it. I’m a little insane for thinking everyone is going to like me, or for somehow believing I can make everyone ride the crazy train with me. I know my faults; they’re neatly outlined on the chart I use to keep track of myself. In spite of everything we don’t do quite right, I think deep down most of us really want to be liked; knowing we aren’t, realizing it’s not possible can be a serious blow to our female ego and confidence.

Well that’s a buzz kill and substantially ruins my glass of wine.  Actually, there are few things that ruin a glass of wine for me, so that’s a lie. Because it’s really not the end of the world if everyone doesn’t like me.

It’s not the end of the world if everyone doesn’t like you. The sky isn’t going to fall, the earth won’t split open, and your wine will remain deliciously drinkable. If you’re checking yourself out in the mirror and like what you see, beyond the surface, you’re on the right track. The relationships you build with the people who find you irresistible are much more important than the ones you can’t build with those who just don’t get you.

So I just accepted I’m unlikeable, cried myself a fermented grape river, built a pretty little cork bridge, and sashayed right over it. Who’s coming with?

Image from http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/06/19/article-2005586-02F2097D000005DC-618_468x337.jpg

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