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Listen up Starbucks, I’m not giving in. You can correct me all you want but I’m not tapping out of this verbal wrestling match. I don’t, I can’t, I won’t understand why your Italian sizes are relevant. Therefore, I refuse to use them. You’re named after the coffee-drinking firstmate in Moby Dick. Your coffee comes from North America. Your mascot is a Mermaid. And just because Frappuccino sounds fancy doesn’t change the fact that you push a button and jitter juice pours into a paper cup.

Honestly, I stumbled upon this whole frustration station assuming, it’s not Starbucks, it’s me. Surely, no one else in the world has an issue with the fact that the tall is actually a small and realistically very short. And the grande is not a large but in fact, a medium? Also, Spanish and Italian for large? And venti is just plain stupid. THEN, I did a little research.

WHAM. BAM. NO THANK YOU MERMAID M’AM! I am about to throw some random sources all over this totally irrelevant rant.

On yahoo answers, I found where a Starbucks shareholder and late Barista says, “Short (8 oz) is actually a real size (smaller than a tall) that’s not listed on the menu, but nevertheless a size that you can order. A tall (12 oz) is therefore taller than a short.” <- WHATTT? That is so deceiving! How am I supposed to know there’s a “short” on the menu, IF IT’S NOT ON THE MENU? And even if there is a short, I am sure as hell not ordering it. That’s just embarrassing. A short? Goodness gracious alive, that’s not even enough coffee to get me into the office.

A phoenix157 says, “They call the small a tall so you don’t feel so bad handing over 4 bucks for a shot glass of coffee.” <- Well Phoenix man, sounds like you are sniffing what I am stepping in. Respect.

Minetoo says, “Just to add piazzas.” <- Then, I googled piazzas.

Goodwork says, “playing with your mine, taking your money!” <- Goodwork, I know you mean mind* and here’s my number 6012126252, we’ll talk.

And I know readers, people, my mom, I like Starbucks too. Their iced coffee has gotten me through so much meaninglessness and tedium it’s embarrassing to list. I consider them a friend, and much like I do with all of my friends, if I think you’re getting a little too grande for your britches, I inform you. So there it is, take it or leave it Starbucks.

Disclaimer, if you are a fan of Starbucks and are about to comment negatively, just know, I have a family and my dog reads these.

Image from: http://www.businessinsider.com/check-out-starbucks-beautiful-new-concept-store-in-amsterdam-2012-3

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President Obama – The Ohio State University

When speaking to the Buckeyes Class of 2013, President Obama reminisced on his last visit to Columbus, saying that he saw students enjoying breakfast at 11:30am…on a Tuesday. “Enjoy it while you can,” he said in his remarks to the graduates, “soon you will not get to wake up and have breakfast at 11:30 on Tuesday.” But isn’t that true of the whole college experience, as well as other moments in life? Enjoy them while you can.

See the whole speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TBuoPo0YOw

Julie Andrews – University of Colorado Boulder

The Oscar winner spoke to the graduates out West in her charming way about fear. Andrews, who never graduated neither high school nor college herself, said that on the eve of her return to Broadway after 35 years she, like many sitting among her, was afraid.”Fear is just a part of life,” she said, “the trick is to recognize it and then press on anyway.” We’re all afraid of something, be it a big change in our life or something small. Like Andrews says, the trick is to keep going.

See the whole speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNJvZOBho6Y

Melinda Gates – Duke University

The co-founder of the Gates Foundation spoke at her alma mater last week using the theme of connection. “I want you to connect because I believe it will inspire you to do something,” she said in a powerful speech invoking her experiences with technology and the greater world. There’s no doubt that our connects help us with small things like finding our next job, but that woman at the bank raising her three kids by herself, or the man who left a job at a high-paying law firm to work at a non-profit, these are the connections we make everyday that will inspire us. Inspiration is all around and in every single connection we make.

See the whole speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEWMAyY-e7A

John Green – Butler Universiy

The young-adult author who has been on top of the New York Times bestsellers list spoke to Butler’s graduating class and made a tip of the tongue remark about the “real world” saying it was no more or no less real than the world the students have found themselves in for the last four years. Everything we have done in life and everything we will do can be considered “real.” Trust me, there is no fake life. Remembering that every moment is real and none is wasted or spent waiting for something else might just help all of us make the most of our time doing whatever it is we love to do.

See the whole speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLQ4Tswr1Ss

Steve Case – University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill

The founder of American Online (AOL) spoke to nearly 6,000 graduates and over 35,000 guests last week saying that most who graduate will not only have many jobs in their lifetimes, but many careers. This, he said, meant that even though requirements are fulfilled, diplomas are signed and caps are thrown into the air does not mean it is time to stop learning or to stop asking questions. Every day and every experience gives us the opportunity to learn, meaning that there is no time to shut out the rest of the world.

See the whole speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuDgpgYlxLU

Image from: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/05/obama-gives-commencement-address-at-ohio-state-university-i-dare-you-to-dream-bigger/

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Is the U.S. the best place to be a mother? Well, not according to a new report by Save the Children, an NGO based out of London. In a report published this week, and that was featured by the Washington Post, the United States scores below other developed nations like Canada, Australia and the U.K. when it comes to components such as risks of maternal death, the number of years a child will spend in school and about a dozen other factors.

Why is the U.S. ranked so low down on the list? Check out the full article for details.

Image from: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/05/08/heres-a-map-of-the-best-and-worst-countries-to-be-a-mother/?hpid=z6

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Julie Alderman

If I wasn’t afraid, I would probably take more risks in any regard. My writing is something I could be more risky with. My wardrobe could use more color and more risky patterns. And, who knows, maybe I’ll go sky diving!

Katie Shorey

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There’s something for everyone, right?

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1. Oh, the humidity

Sometimes I think, why even try to do my hair; it’s only going to get ruined by the humidity anyway. If I straighten my hair at 9am, it will be curly and messy by noon. Not even worth it.

2. Nothing on T.V.

Finally, I get some time off and all I want to do is curl up and watch some of my favorite television shows. Too bad none of them are on. “How I Met Your Mother,” “Parks and Recreation” and “The Office” all wind up this week. What am I supposed to do? Watch the weak summer schedule? No thank you.

3. It’s really hot out

90 degrees? Do you realize what this means? It means I have to wear shorts. And you know what that means? I have to shave every single day! That’s precious time I could use on something else – like sleeping!

4. Outdoor activities

Why do people think that outdoor activities are exciting? If you want to understand my position, see items 1 and 3. No, I do not want to go on a run, or a hike, or ride bikes with you. I will, however, sit inside quietly and play games on my phone in the same room as you.

5. Blockbuster movies

My favorite activity is to go to the movies, but I hate every single movie out. It doesn’t help that my local multiplex designates 8 of 13 theaters to showing “The Great Gatsby.” I prefer a Woody Allen flick or an arthouse film over any sequel or superhero film any day. Sadly, those don’t exist during the summer.

6. Library overload

So I love the library 12 out of 12 months of the year. During the summer though, everyone flocks to the library and takes out all the books I wanted to read. Seriously, it’s annoying. Go play video games or something so I can have all the books to myself.

7. Fruit

It’s like between the months of May and August people just discovered that fruit and berries are things. And they insist on serving them alongside every meal. Fruit is mildly healthy. The worst is when people insist on serving it as a dessert. That’s just wrong. I reject your fruit and will take chocolate cake, instead.

8. Concerts

Everyone thinks summer is a great time to go see concerts, which I hate. They’re crowded, loud, expensive and I usually have to drive at least an hour to get there. Like, seriously, I can just listen to the 90-second preview on iTunes from the comfort of my own home, thank you very much.

9. Where are my friends?

I just finished my sophomore year of college, meaning I have the best friends in the world. But those friends are at college and I’m at home. Instead of being surrounded by my best friends, I’m stuck in my house paying my little brother to hang out with me. Seriously, where are my friends?

10. The pressure to tan

As you can see by all other points, I hate going outside. Now you expect me to be tan? What is wrong with you?

Image from: http://stuffpoint.com/fruit/image/242481/fruit-salada-picture/

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