Big Business Requires Big Girl Panties
This week was my first full “working from home” week complete with meetings and pow-wows and brainstorming sessions about how this new business could become something that might actually garner a paycheck in the near future. It was wonderful, comforting, and I’ll admit, just a little bit insane. I could live with the fact that even though I spent hours of obsessive energy setting up an office in my master bedroom, I ended up working from the dining table or the kitchen most of the time. I could even handle having to be in the presence of neglected household duties day in and day out. But throw my offspring, three years old and ready to party, into the mix and you all of a sudden have a recipe for everything except productivity.
Sure, maybe I was a little bit naïve to think that I could possibly meld Mac Book time with morning cartoons and her favorite blend of four kinds of cereal. A little misguided when I thought she would just understand when I explained that I couldn’t bake play-doh cakes all afternoon since I was trying to make sure I could afford that play-doh for years to come.
If growing a pair to quit my old job was a reality check, this week was a full on reality slap; in ACE’s (my daughter’s) head, everyday is now Saturday. And since I’ve trained her in true American fashion that Saturdays are indeed for partying in our PJ’s, she knows how to rock a Saturday just right. Great for the actual observance of the 6th day of the week, not so great for those five days reserved for ensuring we maintain the sanctity of our Saturdays.
After spending Monday through Thursday trying to accommodate a child whose only child syndrome seemed to get stronger by the day and realizing very few checks were made on my checklist for the week, I scheduled Friday as our day to mull the possibilities.
I woke up Friday and had an early morning meeting with Google to research every possible local activity that would give my budding social butterfly a chance to spread her wings.
By 2:30 we were touring the early learning center up the street where her BFF is a student.
Since ACE was born, I’ve never been exactly excited about childcare options, but I also wasn’t at all excited at the prospect of staying home, so I sucked it up and hired someone to give her the one on one care that I couldn’t.
But now, as I reluctantly admit, it seems my little girl needs more than what my new “work from home” status can give her.
I’ll admit it, somewhat shamefully, but my female judging sense was on full alert as we went through the center. Against all my personal platforms about being less critical, I mentally nitpicked everyone and everything in the building. I scanned every toy, every construction cut out on the bill boards, every piece of equipment that ACE might come into contact with in a day. After ACE was accosted by a classroom full of boys, we made a beeline for the playground to offer her a mental break of her own. As soon as we walked outside, I found myself questioning the facility’s choice in using tiny pebbles as the surface envisioning them stuck in my girl’s toes. We walked back inside and she confirmed my suspicions, I spent the next 5 minutes taking her shoes on and off to ensure all manner of pebbles were gone.
I could really only process about half an hour’s worth of planning my child’s future and it was time to go.
I got home, and you guessed it, time to break out the pro’s and con’s.
End result, this probably IS the best thing. Definitely for her as I continue to remind her that she is our one and only and that no, she does not have a sister or brother. And it’s probably not such a bad thing for me either, since it appears I’m apparently in the business of conquering my mountains, or hills, or valleys…whatever…either way, so far, 2012 has been about putting on my big girl panties. And starting this week, I’m putting them on one leg at a time as I entrust my ACE to someone else for 4 hours a day.
Because while I really do enjoy play-doh and dinosaurs and catchy episodes of Bubble Guppies, I enjoy the satisfaction that comes with crossing a few items off my checklist so I can revel in the beauty of a PJ Saturday.
Image from http://stayathomeworker.com/tag/real-work-at-home-moms/